Relaxin' at Camarillo

How to Be Achingly Hip

How do you get those hip-sounding “outside” tones that make jazz sound like jazz? If you’ll allow me to be egregiously reductive for a moment, modern jazz has educated us in a vocabulary of improvised melodies that begin diatonically, move briefly away from the key, and then resolve back in, producing a very familiar “in-in-in-in / out-out-out-out / in-in-in-in” sort of sound.

This is true for a standard ii-V-I progression at least, and the first place beginners should start searching out those hip, “outside”, or “colour” tones is the V chord. He's the chap who’ll tolerate the most alterations and outside notes being played on top of him.

An “alteration” is a note that’s been changed in the original chord which, when superimposed back onto the original chord, sounds outside. There are only four altered notes – a flat 9, a sharp 9, a flat 5, and a sharp 5 – and what we need to do is find interesting ways to generate some or all of them over a V chord.

Here’s a list of ten possible approaches to playing over a V, starting with the most “inside” sounds, and moving gradually out. All these examples are in the key of F. In a ii-V-I progression in F, the V chord is a C7. The top line shows the notes you play, the bottom shows how those notes relate to the unaltered notes of a C7 chord.

1. V7 Arpeggio. Plays the unaltered notes of the V chord.

C E G Bb

1^st  3^rd  5 b7

This is basically an arpeggio of notes diatonic to the key of F. Therefore no outside tones here. It’s still perfectly respectable, though, and should not be thought of as uncool.

2. Mixolydian Scale. Plays the unaltered notes of the V chord, plus extensions.

C D E F G A Bb

1^st  2 3^rd 4 5 6 b7

In essence, C Mixolydian is F Major played from C to C rather than F to F. In other words, it’s another way of arranging the notes of F Major, and therefore contains no outside notes. Sounds good, though.

3. Bebop scale, descending.

C B Bb A G F E D

1 2 b7 6 5 4 3 2

For beginners, the Bebop scale is best thought of as a descending scale, played high to low. It’s basically a Mixolydian scale with an added major (or natural 7^th), or you could also think of it as C Major with an added flat 7^th. Although it contains no altered tones, the addition of an extra note gives a fluid chromaticism that is a familiar part of the jazz vocabulary. Always start the Bebop scale on a downbeat (the 1 or 2, etc., as opposed to the “and”), as that way the strong chord tones will always fall on strong beats. Try this little experiment: starting on any chord tone C7 (C-E-G-F), play the Bebop scale in eighth notes while counting “1 & 2 & 3 & 4 &.” Notice how the chord tones always fall on the numbers? Cool, eh?

4. Diminished Arpeggio starting a step up from the root of the V chord.

C# E G Bb

b9 3 5 b7

By playing a diminished arpeggio whose root is a step up from the root of the V chord, you’re basically playing a C7b9 arpeggio with no root. As the flat 9 is one of the most obvious and familiar outside notes in jazz, try and find them all over the neck in all 12 keys. A well-timed and tasteful flat nine is well-hip, man, and easy to add without having to get strung out learning tons of new scales. Very Django-ey too. Sweet.

5. Playing a Major 7^th arpeggio beginning a whole step down from the V chord.

Bb D F A

b7 9 11 13

This idea is nicked from Robert Conti’s "Source Code" book, The Jazz Lines. By playing a Major 7^th arpeggio whose root is a whole step down from the root of the V chord, you hit all the unaltered extensions of the original chord. Over C7 play Bbmaj7, and while you won’t get any outside tones, you will get some interesting ones.

6. A Major 7^th arpeggio starting a half-step up from the root of the V chord. Over C7 play, C#maj7.

C# F Ab C

b9 11 #5 1

Another idea pinched from Robert Conti (cheers Bob! Buy Bob’s books!) Play a Major 7^th arpeggio whose root is a half-step up from the root of the V chord. This generates two altered tones – that sweet b9 and a cheeky #5 - as well as an 11^th and the root note of V.

7. More Robert Conti: play the tritone substitution arpeggio of the Major 7^th arpeggio.
Your starting note lies a flat five up from the root of the V chord, and you it doesn't matter whether you play either a Dominant or a Major arpeggio. Over C7, then, play either an Ab7 arpeggio (first example) or Abmaj7 arpeggio (second example).

Ab C Eb G

#5 1 #9  5

Ab C Eb Gb

#5 1 #9 b5

No flat nines here, but what do you want? The moon on a stick?

8. A Melodic Minor scale starting a whole step below the root of the V chord.

Bb C Db Eb F G A

7 1 b9 #9 11 5 13

The Melodic Minor is basically a major scale with a flat 3^rd, providing a nicely ambiguous  major/minor that reminds me of Boulez. Playing it a whole step lower than the root of the V chord generates b9/#9 alterations.

9. Melodic Minor starting a half step up from the root of the V chord.

C# D# E F# G# A# C

b9 9 #9 b5 #5 b7 1

Same as above, but a bit more dramatic. Twice as dramatic in fact, as over a V chords this will generate all four alterations: b9-#9-b5-#5. Tres hip, mon dudes, which is why playing the Meldoic Minor a half step up from the root of V is one of the most popular and oft-used V chord sounds. For a fantastically enlightening lesson on this topic, check out the John Stowell podcast provided by those community-minded citizens of the Pacific Northwest, Portland Jazz Jams. I just wish I didn't find Melodic Minor so darn hard to remember.

10. The Altered Scale.

C Db Eb E Gb Ab Bb B

1 b9 #9 3^rd b5 #5 b7 7

Finally – the motherlode. The Altered scale, as you can see, contains all the possible alterations as well as the natural 7 passing tone and a natural third. Here’s a neat trick to finding the fingering for the Altered scale: play a Dorian pattern beginning on the second note – C# Dorian = Altered scale minus the initial C natural. As C# Dorian is the second mode of B Major, that means you're actually playing in the key of B Major. So, by playing a B Major scale over C7, you are in effect playing the Altered scale.

***This Just In -- New Item*** The Harmonic Minor Scale from the root of the Parent Key's Relative Minor.

Walter just showed me this one, his favourite. Play the Harmonic Minor scale (1,2,b3,4,5,b6,7) starting from the root of the relative minor for the key you're in. In other words, in the key of G, play E Harmonic Minor over D7; in F play D Harmonic Minor over C7; in C play A Harmonic Minor over G7 -- another way to think about it is to start the Harmonic Minor a whole step up from the root of the V chord. But wait, there's more: make sure you play both the natural seven and the flat seven passing tone (I don't know whether this approach is well-known, or whether it's just one of Walt's idiosyncracies). Voila, in the key of F:

D   E   F   G   A   Bb  C (b7 passing tone)  Db

2   3  11  5   13   7    1                             b9

Lots of extensions, and a flat nine.

To conclude: there are tons of options for playing over the V chord, and all you have to do is decide what sounds you like and how “in” or “out” you want to be. For beginners, it’s not really practical to try and play an entire scale over a V. For a start, even at a moderate tempo of 120 bpm, four beats goes by too quickly to play an entire scale. Second, if you play a scale, that’s exactly what it sounds like – a scale. Try arpeggios instead, or just locating a couple of your favourite colour tones within a scale position that you’re already comfortable with. Also, play a combination of inside and outside sounds, as too much of anything sounds drab and predicable after a while (as in Le Massif’s version of “Autumn Leaves,” where I religiously play Eb every time D7 comes around [Eb = b9 of D7]). Finally, have a look at this free lesson from Jimmy Bruno that explains it all much better than I’ll ever be able to. He suggests simplifying your thinking by concentrating on playing in the Major scale and just adding choice colour tones at appropriate moments. Remember, there are many, many ways to skin this particular cat. Drop me a line if you notice any mistakes.

(This achingly hip old geezer is Roger Chaput, one of Django's pre-war rhythm guitarists. Giz a fag, Rog.)

Practice Tips

Here’s a list of the most practical tips I’ve come across over the last couple of years... as well as a couple of not-so-practical ones that I just made up. This is not advice I can always claim to follow:

1. Make a Practice Folder.
Feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of material you have to plough through but never seem to finish? Surrounded by an unmanageable pile of books, magazines, lead-sheets, and scraps of paper? Do yourself a favour and organize the things you’re actually working on into a folder, photocopying a few of pages of things to keep them with the tunes you’re learning and the scales you’re trying to memorize. Mine has a selection of tunes for chord melodies, Jimmy Bruno’s six essential scale fingerings, a page on chord construction photocopied from Dennis Sandole’s Guitar Lore, a couple of pages from Les Wise’s Bebop Licks For Guitar and a one-page walking bass lesson I downloaded from the internet. That’s more than enough to be getting on with, all in one easy volume.

2. Learn Songs Not Exercises.
We all know someone who can play “Little Wing” or “Eruption” but if you asked them to play you a song, they’d be stuck. I’d rather listen to a ropey version of “Ring of Fire” sung all the way through than someone ripping flash scales at nose-bleed speeds for the simple reason that I want to hear statements, not empty displays of virtuosity. You don’t buy records or go to gigs to hear musicians playing exercises, so why spend all your time on them when jazz tunes already contain all the information you need to start playing jazz: the harmony teaches you all about chords and cadences, the chords tell you how the melody fits over them, and the melody gives you clues about how to improvise. By approaching musical problems in musical contexts you acquire practical musical knowledge. Practice as if you’re going to perform, and don’t forget to work on beginnings and endings.

3. Learn the Major Scale Really Well.
If you know the Major scale, then you already know the modes and natural minors too. And as every scale, chord and arpeggio is conceived of in terms of its relationship to the Major scale (ie, the Melodic Minor is a Major scale with a minor third), it really serves to learn the Major scale in at least five positions on the neck, as well as finding ways to link all the positions together. As with all practice dictums, “practice it in all 12 keys.” I’m a lazy bastard and never practice anything in all 12 keys.

4. Learn the Words to the Tune.
Learning the words helps you find the mood and sentiment of the song you’re improvising over. It also helps with phrasing. Often, I’m so over-excited by the fact that I can play anything at all that I just play everything I have at once, thus conveying nothing but an undifferentiated swathe of notes. Try to think like a singer instead – pay attention to the way you phrase your solo, leave room to take deep breaths, let the accompaniment have a say. If you build a solo slowly, there’ll always be somewhere left to go. Jim Hall and Charlie Christian are particularly good at this, as are many pianists.

5. Transcribe.
Otherwise known as "nick stuff off records." A lot of people think of transcription as something only for the truly dedicated agoraphobic, bent over a turntable, blunt pencil behind his ear, constantly lifting the needle off the record and putting it back again. But transcribing doesn’t have to mean hard work – this is “Relaxin’ at Camarillo” after all – instead just take one idea at a time. A lick, a phrase, four notes even. Joe Pass used to say that all the answers to your musical questions are in your record collection, and if you like it, lift it. It’s really good for developing your ear, though I don’t do it anywhere near as much as I should.

6. Learn How to Spell Chords.
You know that saying, "give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Give him a fishing rod and he’ll eat for the rest of his life"? Excellent advice for sustainable third-world development, even if it's bad new for fish. The amazing thing is, the same principle applies to learning chords. Throw away your 1,000 page chord dictionary and learn how to construct them instead. It’s actually really easy once several basics have been grasped, and once you’ve done it, you’ll never have to look up another chord again (and one in the nuts for those fascists at Hal Leonard who've been keeping you down for years.)

7. Love the Fact You Suck.
Let’s face it, if you want to play jazz, you’re going to sound pretty crap for ages – just look at me. But don’t fixate on how good you are compared to other people as it’s a hopeless, demoralizing waste of time. There’s probably someone on your street that can play better than you, let alone your town or country, and when you factor in the fact that the universe is infinite, empty and cruel, and that most of us are so involved in own own heads that we find it hard to treat other people with an even basic degree of courtesy, let alone respect, it's fairly safe to assume that no one actually gives a shit whether or not you're quite good at guitar. Learn to love the process for what it is and enjoy the little victories along the way. 

 8. Learn to Play the Head in More Than One Place in the Neck.
Self-explanatory, but constantly emphasised by guitar teachers everywhere. Knowing where the melody is in more than one position not only helps you to learn the neck, but is really helpful when it comes to improvising, or coming back into the head after a solo.

9. Learn to Read Music.
Actually much easier than many suppose. I learnt to read music pretty well in less than three months. I did it by putting my finger on the stave and going “Every Good Boy Deserves Favour” until it eventually stuck. I still haven’t learnt to read rhythms though, and while I’ve tried half-heartedly, I find it much harder than visually identifying notes on a page. Learning to read music opens up the Real Books for you, and then suddenly all of music is at your beck and call like Faust raising Mephistopheles. Mmmhahahahahahaha!

10. Stick Your Head in the Piano.
Having recently spent some time in the company of a synthetic approximation of Bill Evans, I thought I owed it to myself to experience the real thing. Take a look at this beautiful video of him playing “My Foolish Heart” at the BBC in 1965, and notice how he bends his head to the keyboard to be totally immersed in the sound. Everyone digs Bill Evans, even Bill Evans, so he might just be digging it, or even stoned, though I doubt it, as even though I can’t play piano, every time I’ve sat down at one, I’m struck by how the resonance of wood and strings gets right inside your chest and holds you. Music should be visceral, played by lungs, muscles and tendons to affect you physically, make you want to dance, kick doors in and snog people. Watch any of Joe Pass’ instructional videos and observe how every single one contains a little moment where he complains about theory before tapping his chest and saying that the guitar is just a vehicle for extracting the music in your heart. Being British and therefore emotionally strangulated, I find it difficult to be uncritically sincere about such a purple sentiment, though in secret I totally agree. Your playing should be a respite from thinking, a place to turn off your brain and sit in your body. As Andres Segovia suggests “Lean your body forward slightly to support the guitar against your chest, for the poetry of the music should resound in your heart.” Olé.

Rosetta Again

I thought I'd post another version of "Rosetta", but now that Le Massif are on sabbatical I've had to call upon the much less amusing, though considerably more sober, rhythm section of Band-in-A-Box. The tempo is a little more moderate (170 bpm), and I think I stay on top of it much better than in the previous examples, although as brevity is the soul of wit, I wish I'd only taken two choruses instead of three. But still, if you're looking for examples of flawless guitar mastery, you're in the wrong place, and would do much better here instead. Apologies for the dinky accompaniment, but the soundcard in my PC is just the one it came with. The setting is "Bill Evans' Left Hand". I hate to think what he's doing with his right.

Rosetta Again

I'll try and attempt to describe what I'm doing: basically I feel comfortable anchoring myself in a familiar shape. In this instance I'm in fifth position, visualizing the F major scale as it sits between frets 5-8, starting with the F on the 5th string, eighth fret, under my little finger (this is the "C" shape in the CAGED system).

This shape is "home," and the place to which I always return having made sallies into the adjourning two F major shapes (second finger on the 5th string, eighth fret, and second finger on 6th string, thirteenth fret.) As I mentioned in my previous post, I basically play in F major for the entire A section, adding "colour tones" and chromaticism for a bebop feel. On V chords I play either a b9th (especially the Db as it's found on the 3rd string, sixth fret); the C# diminished arpeggio (C#-E-G-Bb); or the the C#major7 arpeggio (C#-F-G#-C). I also sing the words in my head, and try and try to cultivate a mood appropriate to the song. Does that make even the slightest bit of sense? There must be an easier way to describe it than that.

By the way - I'm playing a Samick JZ4 strung with D'Addario Chrome 12s. I've only had it a month, but I absolutely love it. It's the best sounding guitar I've ever owned, and also the most playable. I brought it from J.Hale Music of Wisconsin, and am extremely happy to recommend them to anyone. Not only were they incredibly nice to do business with, but every guitar sale includes a full luthier checkup and setup - essential for a ham-fisted moron like myself who has broken everything he's ever tried to fix. I recorded it straight into my 4-track, with no preamp or reverb, just the tone rolled down about three-quarters of the way.

A Night on les Tiles

Have you ever wished you could hang out at the sort of nightclub where they dance the jitterbug, down pints of Krug with Marlene Dietrich and watch Django play live with a full orchestra? Well now you can. Only downside is, it looks a bit popular with squaddies. Notice Django's incredibly long dinosaur-tail like middle finger and muscular vibrato.

Plus, Five Sharp (also known as Dick) has just put up a new video of "Ornithology" on his YouTube page. For those of you who don't know this guy, he's a real treat - a really accomplished player playing classic bop lines with killer tone. He's also very generous with his playing - his videos are essential study for beginning jazz guitarists, and he's really helpful and committed to sharing the knowledge. An all-round excellent guy. I'm also totally impressed by how hard he looks.

Massif Practice

Last night, Massif Central had their last practice for a while as Peter is off to Australia for two months - a text-book error in my opinion, as aside from missing practice, he clearly fails to realize that it'll be winter in the southern hemisphere now and snowing here by the time he gets back. I thought it best to record a couple of tunes so we have something to remember him by in the event he's eaten alive by dingos, so here they are. You might want to turn your speakers up a bit, as they were recorded on my ancient and malfunctioning 4-track with a super-cheap mic that I just stood in the middle of the room. Sorry about that. I'm working on getting something better.

Our first is "Rosetta", and probably best avoided as it keeps cutting out for some reason. I used Audacity to remove all the swearing, but I still can't seem to stop it cutting out. If you can force yourself to listen to it, you'll see that I'm basically aiming a bop sound though my chops are way off and the tone is still a bit twangy (I'm having trouble getting a warm tone out of my amp without getting horrible feedback every time I play a note on the 5th or 6th string.) I basically play in F major using  chromaticism and an occassional C# diminished arpeggio or C#Maj7th arpeggio any time I'm in the general vicinity of a V chord. The bridge confuses me completely as I'm still not very good at working out shifts in tonal centres, so basically, I play in C major for the first half and F for the second. The second tune is "A Night In Tunisia," again in F. I try to play around the Dmin, Eb9 chord shapes, mark my place by recalling the lick, and then play around Amin and Gm shapes for the bridge on the 12th and 10th frets respectively, before doing something (not entirely sure what) on the F6 that takes you back into the final A section. My main problem here is that I'm trying to play too fast. This is one of Ramos' favourites, and he deliberately tries to sound as if someone were randomly firing a gun at his kit.

Download Rosetta.wav

Keen-eyed observers and walking jazz encyclopedias will note that "Rosetta" is a track on "For Django," while "A Night in Tunisia" is a cut on "The Real Cat." See how it's all coming together to form an all-encompassing master plan? And by the way, I post these not to win applause, but to provide an entirely honest document of where I am and how far I have to go. It's a fairly brutal assessment of both, I think you'll agree. Cheers!

Ten Favourites

1. Joe Pass, For Django

Joe Pass is  my all-round favourite player, and for me this is undisputedly his best group album. As a tribute to Django that reinterprets 30s and 40s Hot Club classics in a supercool 60s way, it's the absolute epitome of the Massif Central aesthetic. If only my over-bearing father had forced me to practice nine hours a day as a child, then we'd be cooking. I could listen to this record ten times a day and never tire of it.

2. Rene Thomas, The Real Cat

Like Django, Rene Thomas was a Belgian guitar prodigy. In fact, Thomas' prized possession was a signed photo of Django that said "to the next Belgian Django from Django." I can't remember where I read that story, but as I repeat it, it dawns on me that it clearly can't be true, as everyone knows Django was illiterate. Perhaps he'd learnt to draw the words somewhere, but somehow I doubt it.

Anyway, Rene Thomas is a bebop monster in the style of Jimmy Raney (he and Raney met in Paris, and there are those that accuse Rene of merely being a Raney tribute act), playing fast, fluid and intelligent lines over American standards with a continental sensibility. Angular, introvert, and uninterested in pleasing the crowd, the musical equivalent of a Truffaut movie.

3. Rene Thomas, Guitar Groove

 

Speccy nerd Thomas would be quite easy to beat in a fight so long as you hooked those bottle-lens glasses off early. But there's no way you could ever play guitar better than him. Sonny Rollins said he was the best guitarist he'd ever worked with, and I personally think the myopia look is a big winner.

4. Django, Best of (Blue Note) 

I keep going on about Django, so I suppose I should add one of his records. Problem is, the QHCF didn't really do albums, so it's impossible to say what's best to buy. If you're a wealthy completist that loves straining to hear notes through hissing and scratching, then get the Integrale box set in chronological order. Otherwise, there are excellent compilations everywhere, and both the Jazz in Paris series and Blue Note have good ones. Django is the most innately melodic and romantic guitarist ever, such a fast musical mind and infectious sense of swing. Solos like that to "I'll See You in My Dreams" are little masterpieces in their own right, and his own compositions, "Nuages", "Melodie Au Crepuscule" etc., are French perfection. Stick it on on hot summer nights, sidle up to your honey and pretend you're Errol Flynn. Bravo pour Django.

5. Charlie Christian, The Genius of the Electric Guitar

Like Django, an early jazz guitar pioneer, who though dying horribly young and having to deal with the tyrannical ravings of Benny Goodman, made an enormous contribution the style, practically inventing the jazz guitar solo single-handed. Charlie Christian had both the tone and execution players aspire to to this day, but most importantly he structured solos so well - each one had a real sense of development, telling a story from beginning, middle to end. His solo on "Solo Flight" is one of Jim Hall's favourites. I've got this book, and even though I steal a lick from it each week, it'll still take me years to mine all the treasures in it. I particularly like Charlie over uptempo blues changes.

6. Wes Montgomery, Smokin' At the Half Note

Thumbs up, Wes Montgomery. At his first ever gigs, Wes played Charlie Christian solos note for note. I have to admit that I've never gotten into Wes as much as nearly every other jazz guitarist I've either met or corresponded with, and while I think this album is about as near-perfect a classic jazz-guitar record as you could hope to get, I still don't listen to it that much. I'm not that bothered about the octaves, you see. Maybe it'll come.

7. Grant Green, Idle Moments

Grant Green - super extended single-line soloist extraordinaire. Listen to this and a copy of "Standards" back to back, and count how many individual chords he plays in 90 minutes of music. It's about 12. Both "Idle Moments" and "Jean de Fleur" are beautiful, and what is more, this album features oodles of the coolest instrument in the whole of jazz - vibraphone.

8. Jim Hall and Bill Evans, Undercurrent

Jim Hall and Bill Evans - two of the baddest honky jazz aesthetes together? My goodness, this must surely be one of the hippest, chin scratching-est records ever made. And I thought it was supposed to be hard to play guitar with a pianist. Sounds easy to me. But my question is this: did they drown that lady themselves, or was it all just so understated and tasteful that she went mental and had to chuck herself in?

9. Pat Martino, East!

Martino is a living legend, and many things (such as re-teaching himself to play after suffering an aneurysm, and stringing his guitar with fence wire) suggest that he may be from another world. I'm sure there are many better recordings of him than East! but I include this one by virtue of the fact that it's the only CD of his I own. Extraterrestially groovy.

10. Tchan Tchou, La Gitane

Finally, you have to get this one. Paul "Tchan Tchou" Vidal (so called because his oh-so-hilarious mates thought he looked Chinese) is a second generation gypsy jazz player from the south. Less frenetic and shredding than many gypsy-jazzers of the present-day, Tchan Tchou's playing possesses all the authority, grit and lyricism of a well-spoken psychopath. You can practically smell the Marseille docks on this record, and his laid-back "Besame Mucho" has to be the definitive version, even better than Wes' 3/4 one on "Boss Guitar". This is a re-packaging of his long-deleted "Guitare Party" that was floating round the internet for a while. Shame they changed the cover, as the original LP had a topless woman on it wearing skin-tight spotty pink leotard pants. Class.

Blondie

I was driving home tonight, parked my car, got out and thought "wow. Someone's playing Blondie really loud." Turns out Blondie were playing Blondie really loud. The actual band (or relics thereof) were playing an outdoor gig at the art gallery three blocks from my house and somehow I'd managed to miss all the publicity entirely. I'm listening to them through the window now. A minute ago they were playing "Hanging on the Telephone" but I haven't recognized a single one since.

In other news: Le Massif Central have deleted their MySpace account because Billy Bragg says it's evil. As Massif Central abhor evil and deify Bragg the page had to go -- he did put us on a pedestal and we put him on the pill, after all. (This just in: You can find Rupert Murdoch's MySpace page here).

Oh hang on -- she just said "thank you, thank you" followed by a drum roll and now they're doing that one about the tide being high... Oh, and now it's "Picture This." This is so cool! But I'd also quite like to go to bed. Could you turn it down a bit Debbie? Be a love.

Le Massif Central

About eighteen months ago, I started jamming with a couple of friends. Initially two guitars and a bass, we focused on standards, Django tunes, and swing oldies like "Mr. Sandman." I played a nylon string classical and we never performed live except for once at my son's first birthday party, where we were told to shut up by the older kids who were trying to watch Scooby Doo. We were practicing twice a week, and getting steadily better until a beautiful thing was savagely taken from us when Jeff, the rhythm guitarist, decided to move to El Paso to live with his girlfriend, Yoko Ono. But as one door closes, a window opens, and Ramos, an eccentric half-Lebanese, half-Venezuelan poet and drummer moved back into town. And so Le Massif Central was born, the east-coast's leading pretend-French-existential-sixties-jazz-trio. I'm the looker on the right. The mustaches are stunt mustaches, merely for the purpose of public appearances.

I'm the beginner in this franchise. Peter, the bassist, while ten years younger than Ramos and myself, had tons of experience playing semi-professionally in a funk band in his native Australia. As a youth, Ramos' band "The Unknown" was voted best live act in Baltimore 1988 by the local press and they made a couple of studio records. He recently found one on ebay being sold by some bloke in Holland for $50.

After about a year of trying to work out what the fuck we were doing trying to fake our way through jazz (including about three months when Ramos and I weren't talking to each other), we were invited to play a show and made our debut performance on January 25th, 2006. We only knew six songs, and only really three of those went well. I wore a vest and played my Highway '51 Strat strung with flatwounds beneath a projection of "Last Year at Marienbad" we insisted they show to reinforce our message of bleak, existential solitude. Here's our attempt at "Autumn Leaves" from that evening (or "Feuilles Mort" as Le Massif prefer it). It's a fairly good representation of where my playing is now. Some of the single note stuff is ok, some not, the chordal intro is a bit of a hack job, and I fluff the comping in a couple of places having only learnt to play the 3rd and 7th of each comped chord about three days before the show. The chorus effect was stuck on by the soundman, though I'm not sure why.

Massif Fact: each member of Massif Central was born and raised on different continents.

Start Here

So here's the deal:

I would dearly love to be a jazz musician, but I'm too old to be a prodigy, have a busy life, a young family, a day job, chores to do, and am largely bereft of any innate musical skill.

Though I've been able to play guitar for over 20 years, I never got past "Maggie Mae", cowboy chords and boozy late-night singalongs. Not until four years ago that is, when I moved from London, England, to the heart of America's rust belt. With no social life to speak of and all that freaky rust humming 'round me, I turned to my guitar for comfort and was quickly playing every day. Then I started taking lessons, buying shed-loads of books and listening to a relentless barrage of jazz while taking my first, tentative, steps towards actually playing it.

As anyone who's ever tried anything difficult knows, the instant one thing is mastered, an even greater challenge presents itself. This blog aims to chart each hurdle as I try to fashion myself into a half-decent jazz guitarist while passing on anything useful I find out along the way.

Sure, it's gonna take forever, but no sweat, as: a) jazz, along with delta blues, is perhaps the only form of popular music in which geriatrics look cool; and b) I've been here four years and my social life shows no signs of improving.

With thanks to the excellent Djangology, my inspiration for this project, I hope you enjoy my journal as I post on all matters related to my dogged pursuit of commanding jazz mastery.

In the words of Kenny Werner: "You are a master. You are quite good."

I look forward to your comments.